Accountability

I am pretty burnt out on always trying to “do the right thing”. If there is nothing else I have learned from AA, its that. To always, no matter what, at least make the attempt to do the next right thing even if the desire to do so isn’t there.

I must confess though, more often than not, the desire is not there some days. I feel that old flare of “its not fair, no one else is” that creeps up. I get tired of feeling burned by people and tired of making amends for things that really, weren’t a big deal.

Its hard working an honest program. Its hard living a righteous life. It means always being accountable, responsible and honest. And a lot of times, that is the non-fun, uncool way of doing things. I’d love to just no-call, no-show a few days of my life. Just take Alex and Freedom and run for a few days. I’d love to call in sick to work or worse, go to work and do nothing with a ton of things waiting to be done.

I wouldn’t do those things, mainly because making the amends afterwards would suck with a capital S but man, oh, man, the desire is strong some days. Its safe to say tonight that my world is a better place because I am not doing those things… its just not all that fun.

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