The Reality of a Brat

Back in July, after my old phone was washed, I got a new one. With it, I got a new phone number. The old number was a toll call for most, I got a free month of service… it was just the better deal. With my new number, I got all the collection agency calls, old friends and old boyfriends of the woman that had it before me. I also got her child’s school.

In the last couple months, I have had more than my share of “I’d like to speak to Shavon J******* please” phone conversations. Its been hard to convince the collection agencies that really, I am not her. Honestly. Its not me. The most worrisome and persistent one I am getting now is from the school her child (?) is attending. I have been getting “Messages from your Principal” for nearly the last month. I have heard about everything from Back to School night, to homework policies and parking lot etiquette. They were annoying at first until it dawned on me, “If something happens to this child, they will call me for help”.

I called the school about 3 weeks ago. I left a message on the school secretary’s voicemail. That night I got a voicemail from the principal that the Student Conduct books were due the next day signed by both me and my child. Oh No! Alex can hardly hold a spoon! How can I get him to sign this? And… where is my copy to read to him? Well, we missed that assignment but so far no note about detention has arrived. I figured maybe the message was queued up already and let it go.

3 nights later, I got a call that they were looking for volunteers to help with the PTA table for Back to School night. Well, the PTA isn’t really my thing… I am a parent but well, at 16 months old, I think its a bit early for me to become involved already. I called the school again. This time I was transferred to Tech Services. I spoke with them, asked them to query their database for my number and to remove it. “No problem”, they said.

A few days pass before I get the Parking Lot Etiquette speech. Ok, now wait. I haven’t been in your parking lot and I am being reminded to drive carefully? I promise, if you just stop calling me, I WILL stay far far away from your parking lot.

The next week I get a call from Transportation. Apparently my daughter’s bus pass is not valid and starting Monday she will not be permitted to ride the bus. Huh. Last time I checked he was a boy… I mean, I know his hair is getting long but, well, I’ve been driving him every day so he doesn’t really need a bus pass. Oh wait! Yeah, that’s right, I still don’t have a child in that school district. Or even one of school age. I informed Transportation that they need to send a note home with little Octavia asking her mom or dad to please update her phone number with the district. I also explained that its fine with me if Octavia doesn’t ride the bus but I didn’t think it wise for me to take her to school.

Last night, I got a call. My daughter missed school yesterday. Now, I feel I have been very patient through this whole thing. Maybe I am wrong but come on… I have given you the date of the absence, the first name of the kid and the number you are calling. How hard is it for you to remove it? So, I once again, politely ask to have my number removed because I am not Octavia’s mother. I am told, again, “No problem”.

Guess who just called.

Shavon, if by some chance you read this, can you please renew Octavia’s bus pass, drive carefully in the school parking lot, return her student conduct form, join the PTA and oh yeah….  update your freaking phone number with your kid’s school!

Filed under: rant on September 6th, 2007