Even Mommy needs to have fun

Last night I was playing a game on my computer and I felt guilty about the time spent doing so. It got me thinking "Why should I feel guilty?". Alex was asleep. The laundry was done. The house was cleaned up. The backyard was mowed and cleaned up. The dog was feed and loved. Yet I still felt guilty about taking a little "me" time. I have spent the last 15 and a half months being a mom. During that time, I have grown away from myself. To a large extent, Bratshannon has ceased to exist and Momshannon has come into existence. I don't want to teach my son that having kids means you stop living.

Yes, having kids changes one's life. A lot. Yes, it is hard being a parent. And it is harder still to be a single parent. Instead of being able to share the duties, the worries, the energy- it is left to one to fill the place of two. That doesn't mean though that I should stop being me.

As Alex is getting older, I can see the independence he is gaining. He has gone from needing and wanting to be held 24/7 to an independent little boy that is content and secure enough to play on his own (supervised, of course). Soon enough he will be going off to school, having sports to practice for and friends to hang with. After that it will be college and a family of his own.

If I lose myself now, there is no guarantee of finding myself later. This leads to then either being miserable or worse, having Alex feel like he needs to care take to my social needs. It is better to continue to nurture him while nurturing me. This allows both of us the ability to grow, change and learn while being 2 separate people. 2 half people making 1 whole do not function healthily in life.

The moral of the story:

Taking time to do something pointless in the name of "me" time is good and right.