The (not so) rare species of the Toddler
I am starting to believe that Toddlers are their own species, unlike any other. I suppose they *might* be part of the human species but I am not sure on that.
Toddler-isms and the rules of being a toddler:
1. All things that can be picked up, must be thrown.
2. Before something can be considered edible it must be proven to be by Mom taking a bite. It doesn’t matter that it is something that has been eaten time and time again.
3. When finding something that makes a noise. Make said noise often. Very often. And please wear a surprised expression after making the noise.
4. The dog’s food is much more tasty people food therefore must be consumed whenever someone is not looking.
5. Any buttons within reach must be pushed. This includes TVs, stereos and computers. It especially includes the volume button.
6. Baths are not fun when you are dirty or muddy. They then become something to scream about.
7. When told no or redirected, it is necessary to see if that is the answer that is really meant by doing it again. And again and again.
8. Bedtimes are for babies. Toddlers are not babies so they must not apply.
9. The best toys can be found in the trash can. To find these toys, you must be willing to empty the whole thing. Item by item. Oh, its also very important to take your findings into every room in the house.
10. Toys that do not make noise, even when banging, hitting or pushing them are not fun.
11. Clothes are the enemy, but diapers are worse. They must be taken off at every opportunity, especially when there is something in them.
12. If Mommy uses it,it must be hidden. Or thrown in the toilet. This is a must for things like keys, remote controls and wireless mice.
And last but not least…
13. Sippy cups are more useful when held upside down and shaken.
Filed under: Everyday Life, parenting on August 29th, 2007
LOL. #5 - how true. Corbin’s *favorite* button is the volume button. I swear he thinks we’re all old, deaf people in this house.
To add to your list - the dirty laundry basket is not for dirty laundry. It is the best game in the world, where Mommy puts dirty clothes in it and I take them out piece by piece, bring them to Mommy for her to inspect to make sure they TRULY are dirty. She could’ve made a mistake, you know.
And also, When asked a question, the answer is always “no”. If you cannot say no, shake your head. It’s just as effective. “Do you want some toast?” “No!” “Do you want to get dressed?” “NO!” “Do you need a butt change?” “NO!” “Is this No phase ever going to end?” “NO!!!!”
You so nailed this list! Hilarious!