Penises
As the single mother to a little boy… I must say, there are times I wish I had a girl if only for my lack of knowledge on the subject of penises. Oh I know what they are, obviously I know how they are used since I did get pregnant; its just all the other stuff I didn’t know.
For example, after my son was born, I had to make the circ versus no circ decision. Oh what fun THAT was. Did you know that currently in the US, the number of boys being circumcised is steadily decreasing? I am not opening up that debate here at all. Bottom line for me was it was a decision to make about a body part I don’t have.
Then there is the diaper changing stuff. Oh everyone talks about being hit with fountain when changing a diaper but there is so much more no one does talk about! I didn’t know that everything needed to be lifted and cleaned underneath at first. I had to learn about aiming when putting the diaper back on. If the penis is pointed one way or the other, well… the diaper leaks. That honestly never occurred to me until he peed and it nearly hit him in the face! Poor kid!
Now we have hit the age of exploring. Its apparently a new toy that must be played with at every opportunity. I would think most men would cringe in pain if they saw the pulling, tugging and squishing that my son does. Heck! It makes me cringe! We are also at the age of the morning woody. Every morning. And each morning I have to wonder to myself, “Now how do I diaper THAT!? Do I point it down? Do I just gently try to put the diaper over the top it? Maybe he would prefer to “hang” on a specific side?”
I tell ya, I don’t know what I am going to do when it comes time to teach him to pee standing up! Really, there should be a class for these kinds of things!
Filed under: parenting on August 25th, 2007
See, THIS is why if I EVER have kids…. I want a little girl. There are just SOME things about penises I just really don’t want to know and I’m sure you know way more than what you just posted lol
I had no idea babies get morning wood…. wow.
Oh Karah you have no idea… its every freakin morning too! I’m like hello! You are 15 months old! Too young for this!
LOL … thanks for the laugh! I have a son also and I feel the very same way. I’m working on potty training him right now and right now it’s SIT DOWN only, lol …..
Mine got and still gets (he’s 2 1/2) the ‘morning wood’ … crazy!!
It only gets better…mom of two year old (almost three)twin boys…
I can’t wait until they are potty trained!
Just as an Auntie, I have learned what is “normal” changes totally when you have a baby in your life. I’m thankful for my niece to “break me in” for all that stuff.
And thanks to you, I’ve got a head’s up on the baby boy stuff.
When your little one is 13 or 14, you’ve got to show him this post. Can you say blackmail?
I hear ya! Those were some very awkward days for me raising 2 boys alone. I still giggle at the thought of the morning boner on a 15 month old…LOL
Came over from the PPP boards after you made your generous blogroll offer. I just wanted to pay you a visit. I figured you must be a pretty cool person and you are
Nice to “meet” you.
This topic cracks me up. I have 2 boys and I remember all this. They are 9 and almost 6 yrs old now - so I don’t have to see their penises that often anymore. LOL, thank God. It’s just awkward!
My husband is the one who taught them to stand and pee, but I don’t think he taught them well since I have to clean the floor all the time. :p Yuck.
As for the circumcision thing - I chose not to but I don’t judge anyone else. I just can’t see causing that kind of pain to such a sensitive part of their body when it doesn’t seem to have any health benefit and is not a religious necessity for me. I figure if they really want it done, they can always do it when they’re older (some men do. Ouch!) … But if I make the choice for them, there’s no going back.
ANYWAY - Now that they’re older I’m not looking forward to all the new penis issues that will POP UP, if you know what I mean. LOL.
That was hilarious to read. I only just stumbled across your blog and I like what I read so far. My little brother he is 4 he has only just realised he has ‘wood’ and one night when he got out of the bath he was like “look mum I have a rocket” and we all cracked up.